Fear

I am not a fan of being afraid.  I do think it serves a limited purpose of warning one of danger and that is a good thing, but mostly I think it serves to paralyze us or at least me.

It has been well documented on this blog just how I have let fear control my whole life.  No need to go there again, but it is worth saying that I think I have done a very good job of not only facing my fears, but seeking them out.  Finding what scares me and taking it on. I have loved the confidence and strength it gives me to attack it instead of avoid or or even just deal as it comes. This morning I woke up at 4am and couldn't go back to sleep, so I opened up a piece of junk email.  For whatever reason I read it all and then clicked on one of the links.  The link led me somewhere and I read this quote...

Don't manage your fear. Lead your fear. Take charge. When fear climbs on your shoulder and starts nattering in your ear, here's what you do: You stand master .-Danielle LaPorte


I can not tell you all the ways I love this quote.  You stand master...brilliant.  Good idea.  I think I will.


For the past 2 days I have been afraid to face something.  It doesn't matter what, but the point is, I have been so afraid that I have been consumed by it and in turn paralyzed by it.


The only person that might have suffered more from my fear than me would be Arete. Unfortunately for him, he was my sounding board and it wasn't pretty.  The more I tried to talk it through the more afraid I became.  This morning after I had thoroughly worked myself up I decided ENOUGH!  This is no way to live, so I bit the bullet and faced said fear.

I was again reminded that fear is often much worse than the reality.  The issue was resolved beyond my expectations.  I suspect that fear will, at sometime, creep into my life again, but the good thing is that I am getting faster and better and dealing with it each time it does.

The only possible downside is that Arete now has first hand proof that I am a full fledged nut and probably isn't gonna let me anywhere near a knife, but I am hoping a little crazy is good in the art of learning how to kill.




P.S. I really mean in the art of self defense, but kill is more dramatic and cray like:)