This page has moved to a new address.

Something Just Didn't Feel Right

A Girl and Her Gun: Something Just Didn't Feel Right

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Something Just Didn't Feel Right

Last night I got home from work and my husband says to me, you would have been very proud of your daughter today. Now, this really isn't all that hard a task to accomplish, my daughter makes it pretty easy for me to be proud of her everyday, but I am curious, so ask M, what's up. As a reminder M is my 14 who is not fond of shooting or discussing self defense and she does not like me fighting with Arete at all. Her conditioning by me has been one of my biggest regrets and greatest concerns. So, M tells me her story... Mom, dad needed to take A to her friend's birthday party up the street, so I stayed home with E & H. Doors locked, alarm set all is fine, but then there is a knock on the door. I took a look and at first I thought it was a delivery man, so no big deal(she knows not to open the door for any reason. Our younger children are not even allowed to open the door for me or my husband. The rules in our house is no one answers the door except for an adult unless you have asked first. None of our children including our 6 year has broke this rule)time passes and she said for some reason she decided to check and see if he was still there. Mom, I have been home before when someone knocked and no big deal, but something just didn't feel right, so I went to take a look. He wasnt really doing anything wrong, but the way he was looking around at the windows made me uncomfortable. I looked at him and realized he wasn't a delivery man. His uniform was more like a landscaper, but something about his clothes didn't fit. I got E & H and put them in the same room. Mom, they didn't even question me. When I gave them the command(we have practiced this) they went without a peep. Then I called dad. She said eventually, the guy went away and my husband came home, checked everything out. I told her great job, perfect, but I have a question. I told her I was just curious and there was no wrong answer, but before I could get the question out, she said, "Yes, mom, I went to the gun." If you thought my smile was big when I shot the Garand... Even though she has fought me every step of the way, I have insisted on her shooting, practicing different scenarios and talking things through with me. When we do these things it goes like this, "Hey, M, let's practice what would happen if someone comes to the door." "Ugh, mom, I really don't want to." "Yeah, I know, but it's important so just give me 5 minutes. I say it like I am asking, but I am not. She knows we are having this conversation. We run through the steps. When I think we are good, I tell her I love her, she rolls her eyes, hugs me, and says something like, you're so weird. 100% of the time I walk away from those encounters wondering if I am making a difference. If I am getting through to her. I wonder if I should be more forceful and push her a little harder. Who knows. I don't have all the answers. It certainty has been a struggle, but when she found herself in one of "those" situations, she did everything right. She trusted her gut, she stayed calm, she followed the plan, she was perfect. My husband was right(he usually is). I was and am mighty, mighty proud of her! ***We have lots of security layers built in to her being home "alone" as in she really isn't. I am obviously not going to go into what I mean specifically on the Internet, but the point is, she thought she was and she did the right things.

31 Comments:

At June 3, 2012 at 6:08 AM , Blogger Maura said...

"100% of the time I walk away from those encounters wondering if I am making a difference. If I am getting through to her. I wonder if I should be more forceful and push her a little harder"

AGirl, I think you just got the answer to this question.

You got through to her. Yesterday's encounter drove the point home for her.

Good for you, and good for M. You should both be proud. She reacted correctly, your other children obeyed their older sister's authority, and M kept them all safe.

This post is - as my son would say - epic.

*hug*

 
At June 3, 2012 at 6:32 AM , Blogger RabidAlien said...

Awesome!!!

 
At June 3, 2012 at 6:36 AM , Blogger Broken Andy said...

Sounds like she followed her instincts and they worked.

BTW, did she call 911?

 
At June 3, 2012 at 6:41 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Awe, thank you!

 
At June 3, 2012 at 6:45 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

No, she knew her dad was a millisecond away, so she called him. The police could not have gotten there faster than my husband did. I don't want to get to far into it, but home alone isn't really accurate. I don't leave my child's safety up to her or the police, but I am training her because someday she will have to depend on herself and she truly believed she was alone.

 
At June 3, 2012 at 6:46 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

However the suspicious behavior of this man is being reported. Just in case he is a bad guy.

 
At June 3, 2012 at 6:49 AM , Blogger The Lowry Place said...

Way to go kiddo!

 
At June 3, 2012 at 7:01 AM , Blogger Broken Andy said...

That's what I was curious about. It'd be interesting to know if the police turn up anything.

Take care, AGirl.

 
At June 3, 2012 at 7:14 AM , Blogger Sport Pilot said...

Instilling proper situational awareness ability’s in one’s children as well as an ability to think through the problem for an effective response it excellent. Now factor this in, because I don’t believe you have done so yet; your children have observed you doing this and they have strong parental support and encouragement. Both you and your husband have and are fulfilling your responsibilities to the upbringing of emotionally strong and resilient children. Kudos to everyone involved and please tell your fourteen year old that she has law enforcement potential.

 
At June 3, 2012 at 7:18 AM , Blogger Lynne F said...

Wow! Let her know, I don't know her, and I'm proud of her. she followed her instincts, she protected her siblings, and herself. WAY TO GO!!!! WOO_HOO!! and Mom, you done good!!!!!

 
At June 3, 2012 at 8:26 AM , Blogger Old NFO said...

That's great! The training took, and she did the right thing at the right time! Good on her!

 
At June 3, 2012 at 8:53 AM , Blogger kymber said...

i don't think Arete could teach her better! so you know that you are doing a good job! you have been teaching her and even tho she rolls her eyes and thinks you're weird - bahahahah - it is still getting through. you are doing something right, me dear - and that is worth Ft. Knox's gold!

your friend,
kymber

 
At June 3, 2012 at 9:09 AM , Anonymous Curt S said...

Outstanding!!!!

 
At June 3, 2012 at 9:42 AM , Blogger God, Gals, Guns, Grub said...

I'm not an expert in developing children's mindsets, but I imagine when a child is brought up with one mindset and then needs or is expected to develop a different one... just like adults, it takes a while and understanding takes time...

Sounds like you're doing a terrific job! My daughter has known for her whole life that we operate differently in our family than most of her friends' families. Over time there have been many little things and several significant situations that have proven our preparations and mindsets to be worthwhile to her...

With a decade in 4H Shooting Sports, it's always interesting to see parents bring their kids to for ONLY archery, but after a few weeks they want there kids to try shooting guns... a change in mindset.

I'm not sure about M's schedule or commitments, but there might be a youth oriented shooting activity in your area with other girls that would interest her, and let's face it... at her age, she'd probably like a shooting activity with BOYS! lol

Dann in Ohio

 
At June 3, 2012 at 10:26 AM , Blogger Jacked Up Glock Mom said...

WOW! that is really a good... I don't even know her and I am proud of her. : )

 
At June 3, 2012 at 12:03 PM , Blogger tc in tx said...

Wow! You should be so proud of all your young ones. You are doing it right!!!

 
At June 3, 2012 at 3:17 PM , Blogger Eric said...

I don't have kids, but one bit of advice that was given to me about kids, dogs, subordinates, superiors, wives, friends, enemies....pretty much everyone, but especially those who look up to you:

You are training them all the time whether you intend to or not, whether you are not in training mode with them. They pick up on everything you do.

So if you had given daughter a bunch of instructions on what to do -- but did not take SD seriously for yourself -- then M would not have responded the way she did.

You mentioned you regretted that you had conditioned her otherwise, I guess you mean in your pre-mugging compliant stage, or whatever you call it. You have about 13 years of training to overcome, but you know you can do it because both you and your husband now "walk the talk."

It demonstrates you are serious -- if "weird" :) -- and she picks up on that. Young people who sense hypocrisy feel betrayed, and become hostile quickly. I'll bet your marine hubby can tell you that's how it works with young marines too.



One other upside of this is that M may have gotten the emotional reset that allows her recognize that self-defense is not just some "weird" fad that her mom got into. Thankfully a much gentler one than you got, but hopefully enough to focus her mind a bit.

 
At June 4, 2012 at 5:59 AM , Blogger CTone said...

Well done! It's good that the plan went down just like it was supposed to, but without gunfire. You couldn't ask for a better outcome.

 
At June 4, 2012 at 10:20 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

:)

 
At June 4, 2012 at 10:20 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Thank you. I will try to factor your thoughts in:). I will tell her:)

 
At June 4, 2012 at 10:21 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

I will tell her. She is will be very to hear it!

 
At June 4, 2012 at 10:21 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

So exciting.

 
At June 4, 2012 at 10:21 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Thank you both!

 
At June 4, 2012 at 10:22 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Great ideas. Thank you so much.

 
At June 4, 2012 at 10:22 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Thanks!! She honestly will be tickled.

 
At June 4, 2012 at 10:23 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

I am really proud!

 
At June 4, 2012 at 10:24 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Thank you Eric! Your words are very encouraging!

 
At June 4, 2012 at 10:24 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Thanks! I agree it was a good outcome!

 
At June 5, 2012 at 2:14 PM , Blogger Granny D said...

Well I am not an expert but as a mother of seven and a grandmother of 17 I think you are a Super Mom raising some very smart kids. So you are one super lady, keep up the great work

 
At June 11, 2012 at 11:15 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have an almost 15yo that feels the same way about guns. She has no interest in shooting. None of our three girls came out to shoot with their Dad and me this past weekend (our youngest, who is 13 usually does.) :(

Hubby and I agreed that next time we go out, they WILL come with us and learn and get comfortable.

 
At June 12, 2012 at 5:26 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Wow, I loved waking up and reading this comment. Thank you for taking the time to share. I would love to hear how things progress with your girls. Best of luck to you!

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home