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Growing A Set Of, Umm...

A Girl and Her Gun: Growing A Set Of, Umm...

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Growing A Set Of, Umm...

I subscribe to a blog called Active Response Training.  I have posted about Greg Ellifrizt before, most recently in regard to my kids and school safety. I started goggling him and following him after reading several article that JD from Guns, Guns, and More Gosh Darn Guns  had posted.  I find him to be a no non-sense valuable resource on a variety of topics concerning self defense and firearms.  You might want to check him out. 

This morning he posted an article called The Simple Guide To Growing Some @#$%ing Balls  He actually posted several links to several really good articles.  This was the top story. but I skipped it.  I read every other one first and then went back and thought what the heck.

I have often talked about the act of doing.  That writing as been cathartic and the support of others has been invaluable, but what has helped me heal, helped me grow, has been the doing. 

For example after the March ordeal I was afraid.  I mean rocked to my core afraid(this is old news to most of you, but recently several new folks have joined us, so for their benefit I say it again).  Doesn't matter if that fear was overblown or justified or not(I don't think it was, just saying).  Many people have never had one bad or scary thing happen to them, but just the thought of the ugliness they see on the news and the possibility of it happening to them is enough to paralyze them.  That fear is very real.  They live in fear for years, maybe always.  They get security systems and some may even get a gun, but they are still afraid.  I have seen it here on this blog and in the emails I get.  As an aside this is not a judgement.  I know what it is like to be afraid. It isn't fun. Everyone's time table is different. I am fortunate that no one ever said to me, it's been long enough get over it, but the truth is eventually it is long enough and eventually it is time to get over it.  Not because someone else says so, but because living in that state of fear or depression or whatever it is that keeps someone in a place of misery, just isn't worth it anymore.

I say again: Doing, that is what heals.  I didn't feel ready to take my first gun training class.  I was a mess, but the millisecond after the mugging was over, I made a choice to learn how to protect myself and my family, so I showed up to that class and I stayed the whole scary time. About 3 months after that I decided I was no longer going to live in fear. I started making conscious choices to face those fears while still being afraid.  Strangely, you can't wait to get over the fear to do the thing that scares you.  You have to do the thing you are afraid of and then the fear eventually goes away.  It's masochistic, but true.  The funny thing is, for me, it didn't really matter if it was a positive event or a negative one.  The simple act of facing the fear and living through it gave me courage and confidence even if I failed. I didn't think I was ready to take the NRA Instructor Course and even though I passed, to be honest it wasn't all that pretty of an experience(I was a nervous wreck and it showed), but I still gained a ton of positive thing from that course.  Things that have stayed with me. Things that I have used in other situations where had I not faced a challenge, faltered and grown, might have caused me to fall apart.


Even with all the craziness of my childhood and the mugging, I have had a good life.  I have enjoyed it, but I haven't necessarily lived it. I will continue to fight to stay alive, but there are more important things than being safe, than simply being alive.

Like living.

Not a big revelation.  Every self help book says it, every talk show host says says it, every motivational speaker will tell you it's true, but once a person grows a set of @#$%ing balls for themselves all of a sudden it is like a GIGANTIC revelation sent from heaven and you(by you, I mean me) think, "Why didn't anyone tell me this before?" 

I have faced a lot over the past 14 months, but there are still more mountains to climb. Some I am sure I am not even aware of yet, but I am finally ready to face another fear and it's a biggie(ok, maybe not a biggie) 

I have an irrational fear of talking on the telephone.  I don't know why, but I hate it.  I can email, text, chit chat in person, I can write letters, blog, FB, even use a CB, but the phone intimidates me.  It will take me a week to get up the gumption to call the doctor to make an appointment for my kids.  I do it, of course, but I put it off until the last possible moment.  Several of you wonderful folks have given me your number, but I have never called any of you(except Dann in Ohio. I owed him an apology and I may be a chicken, but I am no coward.) because I have been too nervous. No more!  I am grabbing my balls and making some phone calls.  So, be forewarned, if you have giving my your phone number in the past, next week, I will be calling.  If you have since decided you no longer wish to receive calls from me then you better change your number, cuz I am going to keep calling and calling until I talk to you, all of you. 

**I know you all are quite accustom to my many typos and lack of editing, but I am in a real hurry here, so if this one is extraordinarily bad, I do apologize.

41 Comments:

At June 16, 2012 at 6:46 AM , Blogger God, Gals, Guns, Grub said...

You've got the number... so feel free call me or the gals anytime... the phone is usually on unless we're on the shooting range... and again, no apology was necessary... :-)

Dann in Ohio

 
At June 16, 2012 at 7:03 AM , Blogger MSgt B said...

Thanks for dropping by the blog this morning.

Back from work by 10am. Woot!

Now it's time for a nap.

(Jeez...I hope I gave you my phone number)

 
At June 16, 2012 at 7:21 AM , Blogger Lynne F said...

Ovaries of steel, baby!

 
At June 16, 2012 at 7:52 AM , Blogger Sherry said...

This is my first visit to your blog, but it won't be the last. You think like I do! Only difference, I'm a long time concealed carry woman. It's my right. Most people would be surprised to know there are a lot of us out there who refuse to be a victim.

 
At June 16, 2012 at 9:02 AM , Blogger Tango Juliet said...

Got get 'em!!

 
At June 16, 2012 at 9:53 AM , Blogger lotta joy said...

I refuse to talk on the phone and I have no idea why. I'd rather type and email. I believe it's the uncomfortable silence that people fee necessary to FILL WITH INANE CHIT CHAT.

Ah, it's not the phone....it's the inane chit chat!!!!

There. I feel better. Call me if you can or want, but never to do chit chat.

 
At June 16, 2012 at 10:09 AM , Blogger RabidAlien said...

I hate answering the phone, unless I have the person in my phonebook and their name shows up on caller ID. "Unknown Number" or just a random phone number on my screen? Probably not gonna answer.

Having said that, I did answer a "phone number" call once...turns out, it was a local(ish) radio station, calling to say I'd won one of their website contests. I just had to drive across two hours' worth of Dallas daytime traffic to pick up my copy of "The Pacific". Oh HECK YEAH!!!

 
At June 16, 2012 at 1:09 PM , Blogger Old NFO said...

Agirl, you keep educating yourself, and you are dragging us along with you. Remember, YOU are in control, not anyone else. YOU are the one who must make those decisions as to where to go/what to do next... Keep it up!

 
At June 16, 2012 at 1:49 PM , Blogger Broken Andy said...

I don't fear talking on the phone, I just don't like it. And now that campaign season has started, the calls are just never ending in the evening.

 
At June 16, 2012 at 8:20 PM , Blogger Keads said...

Agirl, you have the number! Call anytime.

 
At June 17, 2012 at 2:28 PM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Ahh, yes, an election year..fun times ahead.

 
At June 17, 2012 at 2:29 PM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Totally calling next wek:)

 
At June 17, 2012 at 2:29 PM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Thank you for always been a steady calm voice of encouragement.

 
At June 17, 2012 at 2:31 PM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

That is my next series. Only on disk 2 chapter 4 of Band Of Brothers. We started about a month ago...lol. The kids like to keeps us other wise occupied.

 
At June 17, 2012 at 2:31 PM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Lol, ok. I will only call if I have a purpose:)

 
At June 17, 2012 at 2:32 PM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Thanks:)

 
At June 17, 2012 at 2:32 PM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Just awesome!! What a wonderful example you are!! Happy you stopped by!!

 
At June 17, 2012 at 2:33 PM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Lol. Funny lady!

 
At June 17, 2012 at 2:33 PM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Hope you had a nice rest!!!!!!

 
At June 17, 2012 at 2:34 PM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Thanks Dann. I enjoyed our chat.

 
At June 17, 2012 at 2:38 PM , Blogger Brigid said...

You realize when you call I'm going to answer "Incontinence Hotline, Can You Hold?"

 
At June 17, 2012 at 2:48 PM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Note to self...no prune juice, extra cheese.

 
At June 17, 2012 at 4:04 PM , Blogger RabidAlien said...

Heh...our pastor just started a sermon series on "Warriors", about taking charge and being The Man. So, with a combination of today's sermon and this post, I approached him afterwards about starting an official shooting group at the church. Awesome thing...he was all for it (being an owner of a .38, himself)! So, yeah, I stepped outta my comfort zone for that one. Hopefully it goes somewhere!

 
At June 17, 2012 at 4:07 PM , Blogger RabidAlien said...

ROTFLMBO!!!

 
At June 17, 2012 at 7:45 PM , Blogger Broken Andy said...

Brigid wins the Internets. I'm so using that.

 
At June 18, 2012 at 3:59 AM , Anonymous Pistol Grips said...

Very interesting blog to follow. Thanks for your awesome posts, more power to you!

 
At June 18, 2012 at 4:57 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

How crazy awesome! Good for you? Looking forward to hearing how it develops!

 
At June 18, 2012 at 4:58 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

I should have added that I don't have the same fear of answering. If someone calls me, I'm fine. I'm a little whacka:)

 
At June 18, 2012 at 5:40 AM , Blogger millerized said...

When you get them, grab them tight. Clank them together and make loud noises. Smash them against anything that gets in your way. And, above all, NEVER be afraid to show them to others. They may recoil in horror, but if they do, it's only because they have never seen a set. Those who already have them will admire them.
(fondling them in public can be a bit problematic, tho)

 
At June 18, 2012 at 7:08 AM , Anonymous Evyl Robot Michael said...

You talked to me! Are you going to call me too?

 
At June 18, 2012 at 11:41 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Lol, well I think I might require some surgery to accomplish all that, but thanks for the tips:)

 
At June 18, 2012 at 11:43 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Ha! That's right I did call you. Of course, that was also to apologize for messing up my own order. I need to call you just to say hey sometime:)

 
At June 19, 2012 at 5:12 AM , Blogger 1911Jeeps said...

WOO HOO! Congrats to you. Those big hurdles can be a challenge, but when you look back on that stretch of hurdles, you'll be bursting with pride.

No matter that to most people talking on the phone is no big deal. Each of us has those phobias that rock us to the core. For some it is spiders. For others it is public speaking. Yours is no less real. But the challenge of conquering it is unique and I'm happy to see you taking that challenge!

 
At June 19, 2012 at 2:44 PM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Thank for your excitement...you are awesome to have on my side!

 
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