In A Way, Your Kind Of Lucky...

A few weeks ago, someone in passing made the statement to me that this blogging thing and joy I found in shooting was a result of the bad guy encounter and, in a way, I was kind of lucky.

It made me grumpy, but I didn't plan on spending any time on it, so ignored it and  just moved on.

Then last week, I was exchanging emails with someone who said, I am sorry for all that has happened, but I am glad you came through it. She meant it to be supportive and it was. Made me smile, but my answer to her was, I give the bad guy no credit, but...I went on to say, well it is important. That was between us.

For the past couple of days I have been thinking about that first person and more and more it annoys me, so I decided to address it here.

The statement made upset me on a lot of levels.  It implied that a bad person did me a favor and it implies that other people who have never been mugged are not as lucky and those that have had much worse are what, even more lucky than me???

Regardless of what has happened since I was mugged, that event was not a lucky one. It was not a good one in any shape or form.

I would love to say I laughed in the face of death, but I didn't. I still don't.

If part of this guys motivation was to scare me, he succeeded.

I hate that.

I hate that he got any kind of thrill from what he did, but I would be lying if I said that I was anything other than deeply traumatized, however, for him, it's a short lived thrill.

And the credit goes to me.

Not me alone. As I have said many, many times my family, my friends and this community helped me find my way back, stronger and better and that is good, but it shouldn't have happened.

The truth is, if there were no bad guys, I could walk around in a stupor of joy and security. It wouldn't matter if I were in condition yellow or red. It wouldn't make a flying flippin' bit of difference if I knew  what double action or single action is and shooting could be nothing more than an incredibly fun sport for me.

No credit is deserved for forcing me to find a way to fight my way back to my life.

I liked my life before. I miss it sometimes. I miss the innocents I had. I miss sound nights of sleep. I sleep peacefully, but not as soundly as before. I miss going into a restaurant and having a glass of wine. I miss my blind belief that people really are good and the world is safe.

But, it is what it is and, the good news...

I love my life now.

It is most certainly different, but I feel better about who I am.

There is a certain satisfaction in facing adversity and coming through it. I would guess my husband didn't think in less than a year I would be here.

Happy. Calm. Confident. Determined. Free.

That was not my personality. I was a delicate little flower or so I thought.

It turns out, I am pretty tough and I am not easily knocked down.

I can take a punch.

It will knock me down and it will sting, but it will not destroy me.

The credit goes to me, my choices, my spirit, my support system.

The bad guy did a bad thing. There is not one ounce of good in that. Not one bit of positive spin can go to him. Not one tiny little nugget of luck.

Every good and wonderful thing that has happened since that day is not luck.

It took hard work and effort to not let the bad take over the good and with some grace from my Creator and the gifts He brought me, a whole heck of a lot of good has transpired in my life and I am grateful for that, but it was not luck.

I am not lucky. 

I am blessed. 

I am fortunate. 

I have been planning a special treat for a few months that I was going to announce next month, but this post has inspired me to do it today.

As I approach the one year mark of that day, I wanted to do something positive.

The truth is I really do not dwell on that day anymore. I can talk about it without crying and without fear. It is a memory, but it is not a powerful one.

As you all know I give an enormous amount of credit for that to my conceal carry class and instructor, so I want to give that gift to another woman.

I am giving away a basic self defense shooting course to one woman.

You don't have to do anything to get it.

You don't have to like me on FaceBook.

You don't have to donate to my favorite charity.

All you have to do is make a commitment to your own life that says I will not let the bad guys win. I will do everything in my power to fight. I will do everything I can to get over a bad guy encounter or, even better, prevent one from every happening.

So, if you are a woman, a new shooter who has yet to take a basic course, then all you have to do it leave a comment and I will enter your name in the drawing.

If your a man and you want to enter on behalf of a special lady in your life, that is fine.

I will except names until February 3rd, 2012(edited to reflect new deadline)and the winner will have until September 2012 to register for a course. I am putting a 6 month time limit because I want someone who is serious about going to a training. It is to easy to have good intentions and never get it done.

I will pay, from my own pocket, $300 toward any reputable beginners self defense shooting course in the United States.

I am not rich. We are a single income household and I have lots of my own shooting courses I would like to attend, but I am so committed to helping other women fight for their lives, that I am willing to put some of my own on hold and pay for one of yours.

Good guys don't always win, but together I think we can up the odds.