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Betrayed By The Angel

A Girl and Her Gun: Betrayed By The Angel

Monday, November 14, 2011

Betrayed By The Angel

If you do not follow The Cornered Cat on FaceBook then YOU SHOULD.

She posts the most thought provoking ideas, articles, and questions of anyone I have ever read.

She posted this article today and I thought it was so profound. 

It goes back to every thing I have been taught since the very first day of my Conceal Carry class: it starts with THE MIND.

If you are a gun person or a man then that is most likely very obvious to you, I am sure, but if you are a woman, especially one that was not fortunate enough to be raised by parents who taught her to fight, then, it just isn't that obvious.  In fact, for me, it's always been the opposite.

The obvious thing for me to do was nothing, was not to fight.  Not fighting was the most natural thing the world to do.

It was so ingrained in who I was.  If someone came at me, I never even flinched.

I may have shared this before, I used to be a youth leader at a local church and one day we all went to another leaders house for a party.  He had a pool and everyone was swimming except for me.  I was dressed, as I usually was back then, in dress pants, dress shoes and a very nice top.  I was standing by the pool with my back turned to the crowd and a lady came up behind me and intentionally pushed me in.

I don't remember thinking anything.  I wasn't afraid and I was concerned, I just fell right in.  I didn't try to grab for anything.  I didn't, by instinct, reach out and try to pull her in.  I just fell exactly where I was pushed.

Even after I realized what had happened I did not get upset or complain that my new $40 shoes were ruined, I just smiled and made a joke.

At the time, I actually thought what a nice person I was. I cared more about people and their feelings than to get upset about something that didn't matter anyway, like shoes.

But, today I see it much different.  Not so much the reaction afterwards, but the lack of instinct to fight in the first place.

What happened to this woman in the article Betrayed By The Angel is much worse than anything that has happened to me, but I think we have shared a mindset, a mindset that, has not served either of us well.

After I read this article I posted this comment on The Corned Cat's page...

I cried through this entire article. I was not raped or even attacked physically, but when I was standing in the parking lot being bullied, I just stood there and didn't think for a minute to fight. I was calm and worried about my daughter's safety and I kept thinking how to get her out of there, but I didn't scream or demand that he stopped coming at me. It was by sheer luck that something worse didn't happen to me and my daughter and though I get stronger everyday and more resolute about fighting for my life, should the situation present itself, I still am afraid sometimes. It is why I am a nut about training. I just want to keep trying to convince my mind I am strong enough to do fight and when the sh*t hits the fan, I will not be nice and polite and just take it. I don't want to just stay alive, I want to live and I want to fight.

Betrayed By The Angel


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