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Clarifying

A Girl and Her Gun: Clarifying

Friday, June 29, 2012

Clarifying

I received 2 emails expressing care to me about my husband and PTSD. It was only 2, but if 2 thought it maybe more do, so I wanted to address it.

My husband does not have PTSD. That is not to say he does not have some lasting effects from serving his country, but my post about PTSD and those in my life who have it wasn't about him.

The paragraph where I talked about him was more about how neither of us like to discuss things that are difficult or painful in general, but also combat. When he came home from Iraq he carried a lot around with him for a while. He did have some issues, but not PTSD.

When my husband returned from any tour, he didn't talk, at all and I let him not talk. It has only been in the past few months that I have asked him things and he has started to share with me. I don't want to talk about him and his feelings because I don't want to make his feelings more than they were/are nor do I want to trivialize them. The point I was trying to make yesterday is that I have had a long habit of not dealing. Of sticking my head in the sand and making the world a very rosy place inside my head. I have always supported the men and women in the military, but I have not let myself see the full measure of their sacrifice until very recently. I certainty have not done enough to support those who suffer from PTSD or their families.

In my growth I have seen not only how I have let myself down, but how my thinking has caused me to let others down as well.  Lately I have been accepting what my responsibilities are to myself, my family and those who fight to keep me free.  As with my husband, I had put the full burden of my life on the shoulders of others and I haven't even had the decency to pay attention to what I could do for them(I have done things in general for service members, but not specifically those with PTSD).

So, for those people in my life that do have PTSD I have been getting more involved and doing more to be supportive to them and also trying to do more to support those I don't know.

Yesterday's video and info was part of that effort. Just one more way I could bring awareness to a cause I believe in and a group of people I think deserve all the support they can get.

13 Comments:

At June 29, 2012 at 12:40 PM , Blogger Broken Andy said...

The world needs more people like you. Keep up the good fight, A Girl.

 
At June 29, 2012 at 1:30 PM , Blogger RabidAlien said...

+1 what Broken Andy said.

 
At June 29, 2012 at 3:05 PM , Blogger poniegirl004 said...

Agreed. Keep up the good work!

 
At June 29, 2012 at 7:49 PM , Blogger eiaftinfo said...

We all have a journey. For some PTSD is part of it. For some learning and supporting is their path. Sounds like you are right on track Ma'am. Keep talking, keep learning, don't hammer on yourself - you're doin' great!

 
At June 30, 2012 at 3:09 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Thank thanks Bill. I really am not hammer on myself. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is that guilt and self abuse is not helpful. As I have had people reach out to me and I have tried to offer support, I have applied that same support to myself, but part of helping other learn from my mistakes is being honest and talking about them. Much of the way I lived my life was naive. But, you are so kind thank you!!

 
At June 30, 2012 at 3:11 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Well, the world needs more law abiding folks with guns and it wouldn't hurt if more of us helped others out:).

Thanks for being one of the good guys Andy.

 
At June 30, 2012 at 3:12 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

Thanks for being willing to serve our country and thanks for being so nice when you visit here.

 
At June 30, 2012 at 3:12 AM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

I love ya:)

 
At June 30, 2012 at 11:59 AM , Blogger Old NFO said...

Keep on supporting him and all the others... PTSD is NOW a dequalifer for owning a gun, sad to say. VA is pushing it in their questionaires, intake questioning, etc. If anyone 'exibits', they are being reported as mental health problems.

 
At June 30, 2012 at 2:22 PM , Blogger tanksoldier said...

My dad never really talked about his time in Vietnam to me.
When I came back from the first Iraq war in 1991 I understood him better... and I've never talked much to my wife about any of my combat tours. Some of the funny stuff, you'd be amazed what's funny in a combat zone, but not much of the rest.

 
At June 30, 2012 at 2:27 PM , Blogger tanksoldier said...

My dad never really talked about his time in Vietnam to me.
When I came back from the first Iraq war in 1991 I understood him better... and I've never talked much to my wife about any of my combat tours. Some of the funny stuff, you'd be amazed what's funny in a combat zone, but not much of the rest.

 
At June 30, 2012 at 2:50 PM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

First thank you to both you and your father.

I think my husband wanted to talk with me, but my "fragile" nature lead him to be protective and not share. We are very good communicators in general. I think he has appreciated my new found interest in an important part of his life. I wouldn't say it is painful for him talk about it, just neat that he can share it and your right, much of his time in combat was fun and comical. Of course the bad stuff more than makes up for it.

In contract, I could not speak at all about being mugged. I could not say the words. I would try, but I would sit there in a complete silence until I finally, said "I can't say the words". He would just hug me and say ok, then we moved on until I could.

 
At June 30, 2012 at 2:52 PM , Blogger agirlandhergun said...

It has been my honor and I will keep it up. Thanks for the info. I wasn't aware of that restriction.

 

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