Sunday, January 8, 2012

I Need A Maid, A Nanny, and A Prostitute

I am spending so much time on this dang computer reading gun blog after gun blog that I need to hire some folks to clean my house, take care of my kids and service my husband.

And by service my husband I mean cook him meals and care for his children.

The prostitute is for me.

I am hoping she can give me a few pointers on how to move things a long a little quicker and still knock his socks off.

I wonder if anyone has ever incorporated blogging into foreplay.

Dang, now I am getting excited. Where's my husband?
at

10 comments:

  1. CritterJanuary 8, 2012 at 7:37 AM

    Q: How does a woman get a man excited?

    A: She shows up.

    ReplyDelete
  2. JDJanuary 8, 2012 at 8:33 AM

    Start looking into crock-pot recipes, clean as you go, and make sure your husband doesn't mind your guy's sex life brought up to a couple hundred people...

    ReplyDelete
  3. agirlandhergunJanuary 8, 2012 at 8:39 AM

    LOL, hopefully everyone realizes this is a joke. I actually am in no hurry to be a way from my man and I most certainly don't kiss and tell.

    ReplyDelete
  4. NorthJanuary 8, 2012 at 8:40 AM

    "The prostitute is for me."

    I just had to clean off my monitor.

    ReplyDelete
  5. NorthJanuary 8, 2012 at 8:41 AM

    Clarification: From coffee...

    ReplyDelete
  6. agirlandhergunJanuary 8, 2012 at 8:48 AM

    Hilarious North,

    ReplyDelete
  7. poniegirl004January 8, 2012 at 11:17 AM

    Strapping on my 1911 in the drop leg holster does it around my house- hmmm maybe that is why I have two kids and one on the way?? As for house work I have seriously lowered my standards. Between the 4 hour daily drive and work and family time something had to give. The house is definently " lived in" lol.

    ReplyDelete
  8. MauraJanuary 8, 2012 at 12:52 PM

    If you find the maid/nanny/prostitute trifecta too pricey, I'll definitely consider splitting the cost with you if the three are willing to commute back and forth between our houses...

    ReplyDelete
  9. agirlandhergunJanuary 8, 2012 at 5:48 PM

    Poniegirl004, you are pretty smokin' hot.

    Maura- now we're talking. A little share and share alike. This could work. Not sure if the maid cleans coffee of computer screens, but perhaps we can negotiate that.

    ReplyDelete
  10. UnknownJanuary 8, 2012 at 5:57 PM

    There's an oven wrapped in plastic in my dining room. It's been there for a while now.
    I do not have dust bunnies. I have dust gorillas. Actually, they may be dust Sasquatch now.
    My son is currently nuking Chef Boyardee for his own dinner.
    But the third thing? Well the husband does't complain about the messy house and self sufficient kid ;)

    ReplyDelete