Not Nice

You know how I said I don't like mean people?  Well, I still don't.

I went to the store the other day to buy ammo for my gun and some for my son's rifle.  I am standing next to the case with all the ammo along with another gentleman, waiting.  The clerk comes over and asks him if he needs any help and he says, "no, I am just looking".  The clerk walks away.  I said, "umm I could use some help".

With a slight huff and a drop of his shoulders the clerk says- "What do you think you need?'

Me- "200 rounds of the range ammo and 1 box of the personal protection ammo.  Also some, .22 long..."

Clerk- interrupts me, "I don't carry long unless it is a for a rifle."

Me- "Right, it is for a rifle."

Clerk- Looking at me through the top of his glasses, "Are you sure? you can't return this stuff?"

Me- "Yes, I am sure, thank you."

Clerk- He rolls his eyes.  I mean he literally rolled his eyes.

Now, I do not know this guy and I am not entirely sure what his problem was, but I am going to say from his body language and tone he used, he assumed I was a moron, probably because I am a woman.  I say this because the interactions he had with several of the male clients did not get the same kind of grumpy pants attitude that I was blessed to get.

First off, I did know what I was talking about.  There was nothing in  my demeanor or in my tone that would make you think I was nervous or unsure about what I was buying.  Just because a person is not a boy doesn't mean they do not know what they are talking about.

Second, most of the time I have no idea what I am talking about.

I know my gun and that is about it.  I shoot the same exact kind of ammo every time and I pretty much only shoot my gun.  I am brand spankin' new to this stuff and there is so much to learn.  If you want to show off how much you know or if you want to use your knowledge to show how little I know, this can be accomplished right quick and with my full cooperation.

I do not think it much matters if I know what I am talking about or not, it is not your job to make me feel stupid or uncomfortable regardless of my knowledge of said subject.

This is a lesson I taught my daughter years ago.  Being smart, skilled or knowledgeable in no way makes you better and it certainly does not warrant being an, if I cussed, I would say a word that starts with an A, but since I don't I will just say grumpy pants.

This reminds me of when we lived on Camp Pendleton before 9-11 and before 100% ID checks were required.

The Marine Corps requires those who work and live on the military base to register their car and to then place a sticker on the windshield of the car.  They have different colors to distinguish enlisted Marines from Officers.  When a car comes through the gate, if the gate guard sees a sticker that says this is an Officer's car, they are supposed to salute, regardless of who is actually driving the car.

Many times when I would drive through the gate the guard would assume I was the wife and not the military member and therefore would not salute. 

One time my daughter asked me if it bothered me that the guard did not salute since dad was an Officer  I explained that it did not bother me because I did nothing to deserve the salute.  I did not warrant the salute and I do not believe in privileges by association.

However, I also said that by the guard not saluting he is saying something about himself.

It is true that in every walk of life there are people who are not nice and who use their position to make others feel less and there are, of course, Officers and their wives who use their position to belittle enlisted Marines, but that should have no bearing on how one conducts himself.  To me when a Marine does not salute, he/she is showing that he/she is not proud of who he/she is. 

If I drive through the gate and there was no salute,  I would smile and nod and be on my way, but if I drove through the gate and some young Marine snapped to attention and saluted, I smiled and got teary eyed.  For 20 years my eyes welled up with tears every single time.  Not because I deserved it, but because he clearly had pride in who he was and what he did and there is very little that moves me more than a Marine who gets who he is.   Plus, seriously, who does not getting a little tingle when a Marine salutes??

My point is, even if my status or my knowledge is far less than yours, I deserve the same amount of courtesy as you. The same amount of courtesy I will always give you, regardless of how you treat me.

I wish I was a more willing to deal with possible confrontation because looking back, I should have politely told the clerk that I did not appreciate his attitude and I should have left without purchasing the ammo. I am not quite there yet, but I am beginning to think it is time for me to learn how to stand up for myself a bit more.