tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post6751804215699683980..comments2023-12-27T22:27:56.989-08:00Comments on A Girl and Her Gun: It's Not Moralagirlandhergunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08369419666474343639noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-28607598186385117032012-05-31T03:02:50.372-07:002012-05-31T03:02:50.372-07:00Thanks Broken Andy. I actually got a couple email...Thanks Broken Andy. I actually got a couple emails from others who said the same thing. It might not be as big a deal as I think. Could just be her developing. All of her friends are exactly like her...very good students and very hard on themselves, but they are giggly and goofy like teenagers should be.<br /><br />Thanks forthe insight.agirlandhergunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08369419666474343639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-5812178061360714272012-05-31T03:00:06.789-07:002012-05-31T03:00:06.789-07:00Why thank you kind sir!Why thank you kind sir!agirlandhergunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08369419666474343639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-61464447665120821022012-05-31T02:59:08.372-07:002012-05-31T02:59:08.372-07:00Hi. My daughter has not truly failed. She was hom...Hi. My daughter has not truly failed. She was home schooled and decided she wanted to go to school, so at 13 she enter jr high mid year and was instantly liked. She is a straight A student...National Junior Honor Society, she was voted class President by the school, she gets every part in plays she auditions for, same with singing. She didn't make the Volleyball team and that was a disappointment, but nothing huge. She is well liked and even though she is a perfectionist, she is a really happy kid. If she gets 98 she doesn't throw a fit or act like a jerk, she just decides she must study more. Sometimes I won't let her. Sometimes I say 98 is great, let's go get a Starbucks:)<br /><br />I don't think people realize the long term effects of abuse. I feel lucky that the way I internalized it worked in my favor. Yes, I was miss nicey nice, but I was truly happy and until last March, I didn't know I had a problem. Now trying to get over the niceness has been a struggle:)<br /><br />I am sorry for the parts of your childhood that were painful. I really appreciate you sharing and as soon as I am done with Grossman's book, I will read the one you recommended.agirlandhergunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08369419666474343639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-65883484982850310932012-05-30T23:48:38.916-07:002012-05-30T23:48:38.916-07:00Great post! Reminds me of so many things.
First, ...Great post! Reminds me of so many things.<br /><br />First, has your daughter ever truly failed at something?<br />I mean got a failing grade or been unable to accomplish a goal.<br />I never really failed at anything as a kid. School was a breeze and I didn't really play any sports.<br />The reason was b/c no one ever pushed me to do more than I thought I was capable of. When I got to college and actually had to apply myself, it was hell. I nearly quit many an occasion and it made me depressed. <br />I had never delt w/ failure. I didn't know how. Getting a low grade or not understanding a math problem used to make me cry and no amount of reassurance from my parents made me feel diferent.<br />I wish I had failed at something as a child so I could've learned how to deal w/ it. To this day difficulty makes me want to quit and I have to push hard to not stop. That was one of the reasons I went to the SEAL Adventure challenge. To learn to not quit.<br /><br />Second, while my abuse was nowhere near your level, it has been pointed out to me how it still affects my life today.<br />I have had many roommates point out how quiet I am around the house. I don't make any noise in the morning and half the time they don't know when I'm right behind them. This is b/c my step-father always screamed at me and my brothers for making to much noise. We learned quickly to move and do things silently.<br /><br />Thirdly, I would refer you to Rory Miller's book again, as he illustrates beautifully how our self image relates to violence. <br />Both receiving and dishing it out. <br />He explains how a person's self image can be destroyed by a violent encounter and they may never recover. Also, how "disrespecting" a person's self image can lead that person to respond w/ violence.<br /><br />Sorry about the long comment but you inspired me!<br /><br />Thanks for the read and listen.Tactical Tomnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-77216157645191017802012-05-30T19:43:42.018-07:002012-05-30T19:43:42.018-07:00Good post. I can relate.Good post. I can relate.RabidAlienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07035887632706442114noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-11102329291983635732012-05-30T19:27:32.569-07:002012-05-30T19:27:32.569-07:00Just more inspiration from you in even more areas....Just more inspiration from you in even more areas. I can't express enough how much this means to people out there struggling to know if there is "another side." Thanks, Agirl.45erhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05397455410329074837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-36944868029694740922012-05-30T18:15:28.280-07:002012-05-30T18:15:28.280-07:00First, excellent post!
Slightly off topic, but re...First, excellent post!<br /><br />Slightly off topic, but regarding your daughter's view of herself:<br /><br /><i>"She doesn't get disappointed that she got a 98 instead of 100, she decides she is a total failure at life because of it."</i><br /><br />That's not uncommon, my daughter has a form of this problem. One thing that is often not taught to us well is how to succeed in the face of failure.<br /><br /><i>"If you fall down seven times, get up 8 times." </i> -- Jigoro KanoBroken Andyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01562569871940946226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-86618692386330509182012-05-30T18:07:34.012-07:002012-05-30T18:07:34.012-07:00Alright, that's going in my quotes file.
&quo...Alright, that's going in my quotes file.<br /><br /><i>"DO NOT confuse my compassion for tolerance."</i><br />-- Dan in Ohio's wifeBroken Andyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01562569871940946226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-66911691320923155892012-05-30T16:20:23.555-07:002012-05-30T16:20:23.555-07:00I love these. Thank you for taking the time to pu...I love these. Thank you for taking the time to put them here!agirlandhergunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08369419666474343639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-58935495565995393562012-05-30T16:19:48.515-07:002012-05-30T16:19:48.515-07:00Just went to your blog...amazing, truly amazing. ...Just went to your blog...amazing, truly amazing. I will be back!!<br /><br />As I said over there, I have never, not once allowed myself an all consuming cry. I am not sure I know how.agirlandhergunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08369419666474343639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-28030751863720718792012-05-30T16:08:13.755-07:002012-05-30T16:08:13.755-07:00I find it odd that today, you and I declared an in...I find it odd that today, you and I declared an internal war and emptied our childhood onto our blogs.lotta joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12742978845913126675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-3840789319392589722012-05-30T15:45:23.631-07:002012-05-30T15:45:23.631-07:00"I will accept the rules that you feel necess..."I will accept the rules that you feel necessary to your freedom. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." -- RAH<br /><br />"Morals — all correct moral laws — derive from the instinct to survive. Moral behavior is survival behavior above the individual level." -- RAHtanksoldierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04160316039546071989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-32626307368302458082012-05-30T14:48:10.924-07:002012-05-30T14:48:10.924-07:00Lol. I am not in the market for a bridge...howev...Lol. I am not in the market for a bridge...however I completely believe that you are perfect, never made a mistake, 100% flawless...agirlandhergunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08369419666474343639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-49737661635762160822012-05-30T14:35:17.651-07:002012-05-30T14:35:17.651-07:00The hardest thing to do is realize that everything...The hardest thing to do is realize that everything you know is wrong.<br /><br />I mean, I imagine that was the hardest thing for all of the rest of you. I, on the other hand, am never wrong (although occasionally I am mistaken). :D<br /><br />And now, I have this bridge for sale...Larryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11308171394825291900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-47169291961938437242012-05-30T13:10:14.970-07:002012-05-30T13:10:14.970-07:00Smart man!Smart man!agirlandhergunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08369419666474343639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-76281082254998401302012-05-30T09:51:55.900-07:002012-05-30T09:51:55.900-07:00I am lucky. I am very, very lucky. I have stepped...I am lucky. I am very, very lucky. I have stepped up and fought for my happiness, but the support, the people, the training I have, thenpeople(yes, I know I said that twice)...I am extremely lucky.agirlandhergunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08369419666474343639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-84583451112094174812012-05-30T09:50:45.612-07:002012-05-30T09:50:45.612-07:00Thank you for sharing this -- I drove many of the ...Thank you for sharing this -- I drove many of the same roads (in my early teens, I deliberately and carefully selected 'new' role models for myself, rather than accept those I was born to). I find myself much more patient than most of those around me (now cresting the hill at 43), because I've learned not to stress about a belief unless I truly understand why I've made it mine.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14517126776289668558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-78499206298618064722012-05-30T09:48:59.391-07:002012-05-30T09:48:59.391-07:00Lol, that's next on my bucket list:)Lol, that's next on my bucket list:)agirlandhergunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08369419666474343639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-74756394274695979022012-05-30T09:47:41.973-07:002012-05-30T09:47:41.973-07:00Every person who carries a gun should take the tim...Every person who carries a gun should take the time to address those moral aspects and figure out for sure where they stand. It is a personal journey that the individule must know inside their own being.<br /><br />I have no such moral conflict about carrying a gun or taking a life in defense of my own.agirlandhergunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08369419666474343639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-54686612829436284882012-05-30T09:45:23.038-07:002012-05-30T09:45:23.038-07:00:):)agirlandhergunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08369419666474343639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-63888392498376137002012-05-30T09:45:09.016-07:002012-05-30T09:45:09.016-07:00Thank you Mazie! You rock too:)Thank you Mazie! You rock too:)agirlandhergunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08369419666474343639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-74863775829554436222012-05-30T09:44:42.410-07:002012-05-30T09:44:42.410-07:00I am very sorry for your granddaughter. She is on...I am very sorry for your granddaughter. She is on my heart daily. Praying as you know, always.agirlandhergunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08369419666474343639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-3088457671076253032012-05-30T08:29:49.949-07:002012-05-30T08:29:49.949-07:00You are reprogramming yourself. Consciously. Not m...You are reprogramming yourself. Consciously. Not many people can do that like you have. <br /><br />You have been for a while now, really. Keep learning from others and from yourself. You are not stagnant - you keep growing better.<br /><br />Your blog and the connections that you have made because of your negative experience are truly turning out to be a positive boost to your life. You are lucky.Northhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12778737553770514684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-18768284085881737562012-05-30T08:24:24.534-07:002012-05-30T08:24:24.534-07:00As for me, the older I get, the more easily it has...As for me, the older I get, the more easily it has become to offer the world (and what it thinks of me) an upraised middle finger.* <br /><br />You're on the right track!! Good for you! <br /><br /><br />*Kids, don't try this at home.Tango Juliethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07593296126387219845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577008135895208329.post-56073388130879127882012-05-30T08:07:03.145-07:002012-05-30T08:07:03.145-07:00Two quotes I really like...
"Test everything...Two quotes I really like...<br /><br />"Test everything. Hold on to the good." ~ 1st Thessalonians 5:21<br /><br />"DO NOT confuse my compassion for tolerance." ~ My wife, said many times...<br /><br />We can have compassion and concern, but that doesn't mean we're abandoning our foundation or beliefs...<br /><br />Dann in OhioGod, Gals, Guns, Grubhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18289354729286002247noreply@blogger.com